Socializing with a Sidearm

Love in the '00s from someone who's been desperate since 2002.

When I first returned to college after a two-year hiatus, I was ready and raring to go in the social scene. I was in a relationship pretty quickly after I came back, and neither of us had a cell phone. There were hours spent in the kitchen waiting for the phone to ring, and, living with other guys, nothing important was ever discussed on the line. There were a lot of missed connections, and a lot of late night walks-and-talks. I remember calling this girl on my class break from a courtesy phone on campus. We never conversed using email. We both had email addresses, sure, but neither of us even considered that as an avenue of real communication.

Some of my friends started getting cellphones around this time (summer of '02), but it still wasn't really the norm. (It wasn't odd either, though.) I moved to a more "with it" apartment complex--one with keycodes on the doors--and it seemed that it was way more important to have a cellphone there. I was finally convinced to join the Sprint network in the fall of '03 because a (mega-)crush was PCSing it up.

By now, I'm texting and emailing and google-talking with women. Those of us who fate has determined should remain ready, willing, and single, but who remember the halcyon days when one could finish a real conversation without a call or text interruption, the curve is steep: what communication is appropriate? How often can one use the cell, or text? Is it okay to friend someone on facebook after the first date? As far as this relative geezer can tell, there are only two generally accepted rules regarding technology and dating (and again, this may vary according to your region of residence), and they are:

1. Dates can only be requested using voice technology. Skype = okay. SMS = bad. Email = worse. Facebook = double plus ungood. Voicemail = sketchy. However, it is okay to propose using Twitter.

2. It is traditional for the person asked on the date to engage in the "Post-Date Text" (or PDT) immediately after the activities, as a way of circumventing the difficult doorstep line "we should do this again some time". The text may contain those words, or other gratitudes. It is not to be done if there is no interest in a next encounter.

Technically, the third is: "You should never take a phone call or respond to a text message while on a date unless it's an emergency", but that I think should be generalized rule about any preplanned conversation. Maybe some of you whippersnappers out there can help me out with any other rules.

Unfortunately for Gen X/Y border-dwellers like us, we're being put through what our parents are going through with web tech, and what our grandparents are doing with computers in general: flailing (and sometimes failing) to understand the cultural ramifications of technology. Funny how a little tech can pare a 27-year-old out of "30 is the new 20" young adulthood.